As We Talk

As we talk on a messenger,
Which one I cannot say,
Our song is playing in the background,
Which song I will refrain from saying.
A song that goes back,
Back to the glorious days,
When we first met,
A song that when I listen too,
Reminds me of you.

You are on my mind,
Every Minute, every hour, every day,
Almost every thought is of you,
And on how you made me happy,
How you made me smile,
How you made me laugh
How you broke my heart,
In every possible way.

I can’t move on,
It hurts inside,
I can’t say the L word
And mean it,
That is breaking all my relationships up,
When you say you have met someone,
It hurts,
My insides turn, and tears to my eyes they fall,
I love you,
I adore you,

I hate you so much,
I hate how you have managed to move on
And forget me,
You said I was the love of your life.
I hate how you can be with someone,
When you say you love me.

I recently cut myself,
It’s becoming a regular occurrence
People ask me why,
I say cause I can, it relieves the pain,
The anger, the hatred from me,
You don’t know this,
No one does, but you are the reason
You are the reason, I take a knife,
And cut my flesh and skin,
Multiple times until I bleed
I need to see if this is a nightmare
I need to see if im asleep
I need to remove all the anger,
That you cause me to have,
But Colleen you will read this
And this I know,
And you will laugh,
And say I am lying about my reason,
I cut,
But I don’t care, how does it feel,
To be the reason I want to die,
How does it feel to be the reason?
That I make myself bleed,
How does it feel?
To be the reason why I can’t love,
How does it feel, to be?
To be the one that is stopping me from moving on.

You don’t like it,
I have just gave you a weight,
But don’t worry my dear,
I still have it,
And I always will.

© 2004-2016

Categorised as life, Poems

By Bryan Deakin

Hello and welcome to my site, my name is Bryan Deakin, 35yr old from Scotland. A Dyspraxic, Poet, Blogger and Community Activist, I studieda BSc(Hons) Sustainable Development, at the University of Highlands and Islands. Lover of all things Greek and Finnish, and a keen and active member of Falkirk SNP. Prior I was Vice President of Simple Machines, and Project Manager at Simple Machines Forum (SMF).

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